Tattoo

Hey everyone,

So lately I have felt the urge to have a tattoo. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have one and I just wanted something to make me unique from everyone else. Last week I decided it was time to go and get one. I was actually suppose to go up to Rockford, Illinois to get some paint and well, I forgot about doing all of that so instead I went to Euro 2 Tattoo where John hooked me up. At first I didn’t know what the hell to expect to I was nervous to all hell but once I was comfortable with the surrounding I settled down and was able to actually breathe properly. During the tattoo it did hurt like hell but nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. John told me that he was almost done and then he started tattooing on my collarbone. I don’t know if you have ever had a tattoo on your collarbone but &!^#^!^!^! it hurts!! So here’s the final outcome of the little adventure…

Oh and if you where wondering, yes, I do want more!

 

-Jory

Poem on Stuttering

 

hiding

crying

fighting

lying

laughing

giggling

frustration

humiliation

dissapointment

discouragement

embarassement

all of these things represent my life

my childhood

I’m misunderstood

day after day

people making fun of me

laughing at my speech

what did you say

say it again

talk properly please

stop stuttering

the shame

the hurt

the pain

the trouble

being judged

I had enough

I give up

time to die

how should I go

how about suicide

I cannot take it anymore

the finger pointing

people looking at me

saying in their minds that there’s something wrong with me

the struggle to live life

not taken seriously

because I speak differently

special education

speech therapy

the things I’ve been through

you wouldn’t know by looking at me

I ask why me

why was I born this way

why I have to go through this every day

why the struggle in my speech

lord what are you doing with me

the lord reminds me that I am with him

this is just temporary

you have to go through the suffering

you have to go through the pain

your joy is coming once again

hiding

hiding my true feelings

hiding everything

I don’t allow you to see

I keep on smiling

I keep laughing

just to cover

cover up my hurt and pain

wondering when it all will end

but I learn to put my trust

trust in the god of love

he continue to be with me

inspite of everything

from childhood to now

I can say god has been with me all of the way

he is with me now

As many know I am not one for religion but I truly love this poem. It’s my stuttering in a nut shell and I can relate to every last word. Thank you Ashlee for showing me this.

 

*&@$#^!!!

This post is going to be completely random and spur of the moment but it’s pissing me off. So, today I received one of the cause things on Facebook so I was like o h  sure of course I will join the cause because it’s supporting a dog that went through a horrible, traumatic event and then I just started looking more into the story and found a page that said graphic content but I couldn’t get myself to see what it was about. Apparently some drunken dumb asses put a firework into the poor dog’s mouth, duct taped it shut and because of that the dog lost it’s mouth and I am pretty sure the poor thing died. I am not a huge animal person but this story really touched me and pissed me off so I couldn’t bare to look up the story anymore. What I am getting at is that I just don’t understand why people do the stupid shit that they do. I mean yeah, people do stupid shit every day and especially when they’re drunk but to do that to a defenseless dog?! What an embarrassment to the human race.

men & handbags

What do you think of a man who is walking down the street with a hand bag in tow ? Personally, it would definitely depend on who is using this accessory and if they’re fashion forward. If I saw a man with a nice leather duffel bag, Ralph Lauren Polo, Khaki shorts along with a pair of boat shoes I would have to say that I love the look! I am really into the whole preppy look and I think a bag could do a lot for a guy. I am currently living in a pretty rural town with only 16,000 people, most of them being farmers and old stuck in their ways Republicans so I tend to stand out a bit as if and I feel like I would stand out even more if I were to walk around with any sort of bag. I love the whole city business like look so I tend to wear Banana Republic button down, Kenneth Cole slacks, Kenneth Cole loafer, leather watch and pair it all with a Kenneth Cole messenger bag to school or just to dress up to go to a cafe down town. I cannot wait to move to a bigger city so I can have more opportunities to dress like this! One thing that I worry about is what if the women think that I’m a gay guy and don’t realize that I am a single guy who’s ready to mingle.  I would like to hear from my readers… what do you think about men and having a ‘man bag’?
Examples of a bag I would use…

I miss her…

I just got off of work, it’s 11:30pm or so and I cannot stop thinking about my ex girlfriend named Bridgette. It’s been a few months now since we had stopped dating, she lives in NYC, I’m in Illinois and it just wasn’t working with her busy schedule. I didn’t see it coming at all but I thought everything would be okay because I would be her best friend, talk on MSN and everything would be okay but that just hasn’t been the case at all. Everything seems to remind myself of her from blonde girls, ballet, the show dance moms, France and just little things that I see on the street. When I was with her I thought that I truly found the love of my life. I thought that it would be okay, we would live closer at some point and we would be the perfect couple. I wanted this so bad. She has every aspect that I look for in a woman from her being super intelligent, gorgeous, has goals, strong willed and compassionate.

I always do this to myself… I look back at pictures of her and get into a mini-depression that outsiders just don’t understand. I try to explain it to them and they blow it off. They say that I should move on, there’s more fish in the sea, there’s better girls out there but I disagree. I don’t know if I will ever get the opportunity to see her again but I really hope that I do and I hope we get back together. The last time that I talked to her she was dating a good friend of hers which hurt me so much inside but I accepted it because she can do whatever she wants to and I am not in control of her nor would I want to be.

At this point I just don’t know what to do with myself… I catch myself making decisions with her in mind. I would love to live in NYC but she too lives in NYC and will be attending NYU, which is a great school but would it be weird for her to find out that I too go there? I don’t know, ugh, I just want the relationship to be back or have her to at least talk to me again. I think the not talking is the thing that is killing me the most. You see, she has cancer and I worry all the time about her health and her mom too has cancer. I hope everything is okay with every one is okay. I want the old days back…

Whorefest

As well all know I am a college student, a community college student at that so I know that college aged individuals are horny as hell and can be the biggest douchebags but I am quite baffled by something. Like I said, I currently attend a local community college and it seems like there’s a few groups of people who attend the school and I’ll break it down for you.

1- the jocks… they attend all of the parties at Gonorrheaville aka Sauk Valley Commons and all they talk about is drinking cheap beer and having sex with the bust downs on campus

2-the magic club… I don’t know much about this group but I do see them in the cafeteria often and they’re not very friendly to outsiders

3-the parents… they’re the people who have children and are coming back to school for whatever reason. Not much to say about them except for I am proud of them!

4-the bust downs… the girls from the surrounding towns who jump at the opportunity to lay down for the popular kid wearing a snap back

5-the JL’s… the people who won’t talk to many people and definitely not someone who isn’t in love with Jesus like they are… nothing wrong with loving Jesus but they can come off prude-ish

6-the country kids… self explainitory

7-average Joes… this is  a very broad category and it includes everyone who doesn’t fit into the above categories… nothing wrong with the average joes I just didn’t feel like making more categories

Now back to the issue at hand… why is it that a select group of people feel the need to tell everyone that they love to drink, smoke and screw everyone that they know at SVCC? I know that many other schools have this same problem but I just don’t get it. Call me traditional or whatever you would like but I would never go around school telling the whole damn college how I love to get drunk and have drunk surprise sex… I want a whole new generation of people. Smh.

sleep? pssht! who needs that?!

It’s 1:30am and I’m finally almost done with my homework! This procrastinating shit is killing me.. ugh!

study for math- done!

read government chapters- done!

finish government worksheets- done!

write 2 page English report- incomplete :/